|Don't call me a racist.
||[Aug. 1st, 2017|11:59 am]
If ever there was a blog post that would cause me to become beloved by all...this is not it.
Recently, I read a blog post by someone that claimed anyone who stated they are 'not generally attracted to ____ people' or they 'are generally attracted to only ____ people' (insert a race, any race) is racist. Oddly enough, though, he feels it's completely appropriate for people of a minority to 'only be attracted to' their minority...because that is NOT racist, according to him. (By the way, this guy is the personification of reverse racism.)
I have so many questions and problems with this. First and foremost, when did the world decide we need to baby-proof everything? I'm not being facetious, I'm legitimately asking. I'm not sure when this shift occurred, but things have gotten out of hand. It's ridiculous, at least to me, that I cannot state an opinion any more without being labeled or called out for my white privilege, my racism, my ageism (is that even a thing?), or my 'culturally insensitive remark.' Allow me to provide two examples; one will be an appropriately labeled "ageist" remark, and one will be an opinion. Both have come out of my mouth, and both have been labeled as me being 'ageist."
Example 1: Scene: Me, in a parking lot, stopped behind someone who is backing out of a parking spot ridiculously slow, pulls back in slightly, then pulls back out, and almost hits a car, then has to do a 27-point turn in order to get out... "Ugh why is this person taking 10 years to move their car? It must be--YEP. It's an OLD PERSON. WHY DO OLD PEOPLE EVEN HAVE A LICENSE?" <- Appropriately labeled as 'ageist.'
Example 2: Scene: Me, on a dating site, being messaged by a 53 year old man... "Hi, thanks for the compliments :) I'm sorry, but I don't really date guys that are 10+ years older than me--just not my thing. But thank you again, have a good day!" <- Inappropriately labeled as 'ageist.'
The second example can be used for race, weight, height, gender, religion, hair color, eye color, penis size, type of car driven, lifestyle choices, etc. Pick a card, any card. The opinion of ME on who *I* decide to date does not make me a racist, an ageist, or any other sort of 'ist.' I am entitled to be attracted to, or not attracted to, anyone I want. And trust me, I am not tooting my own horn here. I am not some grand prize to be won, and I'm certainly not beating people away with a bat. I'm a chubby gay guy in a conservative small town in the Pacific North West. I have been shot down 1,000,000 times by people for being 'too big', 'too hairy' (bears ftw!), 'too short', 'white', 'too feminine', 'not feminine enough', 'too old', 'too young', 'white', etc. and yet, I have not ONCE called someone racist, prejudice, or any other sort of awful term.
In a world where we now give trophies to kids for just participating because we don't want to hurt their fragile little feelings, we have created a society in which having an opinion or preference or 'type', somehow makes you a bad person. We have also created a society where winning first place feels less exclusive and exciting...because everyone else got a prize. Why reach for being recognized when everyone who just bothered to show up is getting a prize? It takes the point of 'winning' away. It makes kids feel like they're entitled to things for simply being present.
I belong to an online community on LiveJournal where, on a daily basis, I see the comments from the other members praising ANYTHING a person of color does. Literally anything. "Oh I love her SO MUCH." "SHE IS FLAWLESS, QUEEN." "OMG YAAAAS!" "THIS IS MY JAM!" "LOOK AT HOW GORGEOUS SHE IS." And then the second a white man does something, it's "Well, of course he did. He's white. And a man. He can do anything he wants because WHITE PRIVILEGE." The second a white girl does something? "Ugh. I can't with this basic bitch." "Whatever, tacky." "Must be nice to be rich..." "...in news no one asked for..."
If you ask me, the problem has now become reverse racism. (Yes, that's a thing. No, you can't argue it.)
Yes, I am 100% aware of white privilege. Yes, I am fully aware racism still exists, that oppression is real, and that people of color have to work twice as hard as me to get treated the same. It's unfair, and it's wrong. I do acknowledge and even share in the frustration that we don't see more people of color in lead roles, and that we don't see more ethnic backgrounds in less stereotypical roles.
However, I do believe that people (especially online) have let the pendulum swing SO FAR to the left, that it's almost comical how quickly people just blatantly attack anyone over anything.
You're white, and you have an opinion?
YOU'RE A DISGUSTING PERSON AND YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO FEEL THAT WAY.
You're a white man?
YOU'RE WRONG AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU'RE WHITE AND A MAN.
You're a man?
YOU'RE SEXIST AND WRONG. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE SUBJECT IS.
Your opinion doesn't match mine?
YOU'RE RACIST AND SEXIST AND WRONG, AND YOU'RE OPPRESSING ME.
I'm not interested in bickering with people back and forth, but the society we now live in is one where opinions and preferences now make you a racist, sexist, ageist, prejudice, or some other terrible thing--and it's wrong. It's absolutely wrong.
I am not a racist. We all have preferences. We all have opinions. You have every right to like me, not like me, want to date me, or want to date someone else. You also have every right to practice exactly what I described above, and call me 'racist', call me out for my 'white privilege', or leave me a comment in which you attempt to rip me to shreds over my 'skewed view.' But trust me, I've heard it all. I am a human being with feelings, thoughts, opinions, and preferences for who I want to date. I am an imperfect person, but I am not a racist.
And before anyone tries to come for me, here is the FULL definition of racism:
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.